‘Welcome to my playground. My workshop. My laboratory.
In Jurassic Park parlance, my island dinosaur factory.
This is where I hack, stitch and saw.
Excuse the blood and broken bones…
…and don’t mind the smell.
Come right in. Careful! Watch that bottle on the floor, there’s still a dreg or two of something in there.
Make yourself comfortable….
That? That’s just a bowl of mince and cornflakes. The red stuff’s tomato sauce, I think. Just push it to one side. Nothing in there can hurt you. It’s been dead awhile.
Can I get you a coffee? Yes? No, don’t touch that cup. Been there so long the muck in the bottom’s turned to custard. I’ll get you a fresh one.
Sit you down. No, no, not there – that’s my daughter’s fort. Don’t mess with that! Who knows what’s inside there. Now that really could hurt you!
Right, I have a story to tell you…but first, first I have to write it down.’